Something Hidden

He with his calm exterior
Pleases the one with the fire

But hand hits thigh
Composure is lost
Just for a fleeting moment

The ire bridled
Can but no longer be hidden

The strain holds the nerves taut
The grinding teeth
Furrowed brow
Need to relax

Break free
Let go those words
Before the bitterness bursts within
And the bolt that holds you tight
Is lost

Dark Prevails

On the sweeping roads
Chasing a darker me
Cutting through
Evil looks stronger
Hyde seems to win

A red light
And I catch up

Neck to neck we race
Light and dark and on and on
The good lacks control
Black wins the day

A Nobody

The guitars rolled
The drums boomed
A head nodded
A need to belong
Be part of the bigger whole

What did you’ve to prove
Why??
The vacuum can’t be filled
You don’t have a friend

Worthless has been your life
Insecurity will be your companion

Get out now
Smell reality
And you can die with dignity

A glimpse of life

A glimpse of life
Through the window
Each hole in the air
Your circumscribed view
A sense of déjà vu

You want to stand and stare
There is learning there
Your inner demons could find rest
Or oscillate the elements

But speed and barred peepholes
Never let you remain
Experience the peace
You will never know

Disruption

Why is rhythm not mine
Sounds that don’t rhyme
Limbs in rebellion
A call for more time
Oh! It’s so simple

An eluding shadow
Please throw some light
Has lost the touch
Will have to end

Speck of Dust

Can one drop of poison
In the vast ocean
A difference make

Can one cube of sugar
Sweeten the bitter lake

Then what chance do I
A mere speck of dust
In this world create

Cliche

Love
Such a cliché
Clichés all hate
Then why has this one
The oldest and worst of em all
Survived

Too much to ask

Is it too much to ask
My own life to live
All I want is freedom
From age old ideas

But that is all
This what I value the most
Don’t deny it God

Past Ghosts

Those Ghosts
from the Past
Slowly enveloping me
Smothering me in its bosom
Suffocating me.

How do I exorcise them!
smoke em out
drown in Madira

What had to be destroyed only grows stronger
But those valued has been taken away forever

The ghosts are breeding
clouding my mind
There is no escape
Please lemme live

There is only this once
It's my life
Why can't I have it    

Chained Freedom

wind in your hair
at 60 kph
you have been liberated
Breathe in the freedom

fear of total freedom
holds the captive back
only suffering to other
your breaking away can cause

questions there are unanswered
the answers promise eternal imprisonment
he who can spell your purpose
is he silent
has he said it all
and you never heard
capitulation at 60Kph is better
and not complete liberation

Vicious Cycle

you've drifted from the path
lost now, again
in the wilderness

joie de vivre

i am born wild brother

i am born wild

to roam this God's earth

and enjoy his creation

the vegetation and the meat

the mountains and the valleys

the oceans and the seas

the beaches and the plains

it has been willed to me

and to raise worship

that alone is my purpose

for that i live

if i like you

bury myself under needless thoughts

then the purpose of my existence

will be in vain

Home

desolate
killing the green
to lead life comfortably

caged in a prison
brick walls and bars this is home
there is a bed, a fan, a loo

comforts you think
you have been chained
emotion: the warden
jailers: the loved ones

no reprieve, no parole
the door's shut the day you are born
the only liberator, death

Mob Power

A stranger has dared enter
Our territory
A shout
There's strength in collective action

Noses flared
Eyes blazing

The cowardly individual
Has become a hero in the crowd

The outsider turns tail
Wisdom says, Run

The mob has lost capacity to think
A need for show of strength
After being battered life long
Cowed down by life

Mother

A forlorn look
Eyes Glazed
Aimlessly wandering
Confused

Breasts filled to the tip
With nourishing nectar

But who will gain
There are no takers
The life giving liquid
Has become a pain
Causing an ache
Her children but are no more

A knock

Oh, the hit on the head
Water in my hand
Did I say wrong
Hurt flows
Is this retribution through the air
The ache remains
Is it all fading away
I’ll never understand I said
Did I mean all that
All is a haze
What has been all day
Some more's been added
Clear me, I’ve confused you
I’ll await your reply

Last words

I’ve run out
It no longer flows
Thoughts I want to make
The depth is lost
Still one strives
To make
What is left me
Maybe the only one I know
The others are not sure
Oh it’s all so frivolous
Therein ends the DAY

No Clue

What does the heart desire
Does he know
He said and laughed

The converse was
Is it better to arrange?
So many decisions
Not one was made

None of the choices,
Was yours
What was told to him
And to them and everyone
The oath taken
Swore on earth and sky
All stand against
You cannot love
How can what is not in existence
Be ever arranged
To be your forever

A Twist

Happiness and joy
Shocks and sadness
All in a day
That is life

Acceptance
Does it really help?
That jolt was electric still
But no pain do I feel

How long will continue
The search for another
When self inflicted norms
Traps one in shackles

Will breaking free from it
Provide any solace
Won’t you have to live
With the indignity

A life full of loss of word
And the, you said this
Where is your pride
Will misery set in
How can you forget remembrance

A Message

Love you guys
Thanks ok for coming…
Cleared my head
Little bit from all
That’s happening…
Muuah!

Don’t love too much
And don’t demean us
by heartless thanking
such a request,
we’d to be there

really love you all
truly kinds
just running high on emotions…
so wanted to thank you…

ok ok
thank you accepted
I’ll never understand you

Never understand? Why?

Oh forget it
Am in a haze
And talking gibberish
Ignore please

Cheap Love

When the news broke
Why was I startled
Had I not written
At the very beginning

The advice to take
What was offered me
Did I not preach against
What was bound to happen

The cheapening
That I canot fathom
And the revelation
That set the reporter to thinking

From mild depression
To reaching the nadir
No reprieve
Cos justice has been dealt

Across the seas

Was it a coincidence
That call from across the seas
In a like situation
Only enduring more anguish

Why did that seeker
Promised goodness for life
To whom you shewed kindness
Could have not one joyous day

Why do one meant to rejoice
Cannot obey your bidding
did a wrong occur
That takes me away from you

He who does not want you
That I do understand
But why only sorrow
To one whom you were all

When the news broke

Where is the passion gone?
I crave for you
For that fulfilling experience
Why is it denied me?

Is it!!!
Am I …
Have I rebuffed???

My being was yours
Nothing can fill
The all-encompassing emptiness
Spells the truth

Have I not the requisite all
Another would desire
My search for more
Is the answer, I’m for you

Why do you not take
Show me what you want
Then would my wandering cease
And rest I would find

Have I lost forever
Do you find no place within
Despite knowing, my foolishness
Has it cost me my soul?

Eyes

You are sweet innocence
A small child
Much bigger than em all

Rosy lips
Smile that aches the heart
Will I never have

Feel the warmth
Remain in deep recess
Put a light on it
Only pain revealed

Awake for no reason

The night has been shot
Ale within my blood
Smoke in my lungs
A song in my mind

A call that never came
Sleep that ran away
Thank you for not shattering
Peace is all I crave

Tomorrow you’ll not be there
You are never there
I’ll head home
I’ve to climb the mountains
For a bigger dream awaits me

Calling me
Come hither, climb higher
A note has to be slashed

All My Love

Woman, I love you
But what is desired of me
Is not mine to give

A force higher than me
Has claimed it all

Can I renege on a promise made
Before times existence?

Then how can what I in the present give
In this ephemeral now
Ever be true?

I need thee
It fills a part of me
But never have I even once felt
Thou art mine
In spite of being within
Engulfed by thee

You who’ve desired me
Have never felt me thine
Cos, am chained by the power
That laid the then and now and forever

The Trip

So empty
A hollowness deep within
The seemingly simple
Oh! All too sure
Has slipped out of grasp
And all that’s left
A bad taste in the mouth

What can fill that cavity?
A puff? A drag? A Sip?
The emptiness remains

The will, not within control
What is desired of me?
Why give me hope
I never did ask for it

And when arms are outstretched
To hold what’s been thrown
Why was the light switched off
Tell me the purpose

Optimism is easy to preach
But the question deserves an answer

Is this a preparation?
Then what is the final end
Do let me know
Ere I unknowingly
Move on to a path
That will never bring me back

A frame on the wall

Don’t you leave me
I know I caused pain
But a little now
Is a shot
Against a rend heart
In time to come

We be the glue
That holds the poster on the wall
Two of a kind
Been placed and replaced

The glue has lost its use
It cannot hold us together
A little of the wall
Has been left behind on us

Even the newest house
And the shiniest paint
Cannot anymore charm us
Sooner than said
The grip will be lost
And hurt ourselves we will
By landing on the floor

Blameless

Why do you blaspheme
Why do you blame
You knew the consequences
Still broke the rules

Did yah tell you
To step into the muck
Then why curse purity
For the dirt on your feet

The girl is crying, you are in pain
The world is responsible for your bane
Be a man, face the light
Fight for your right, though failure looms

System

Never letting me breathe
Like a blanket over me
Smothering me
Never let me breathe the fresh air
The all-pervading cover over me
Tied up in it
Forever enmeshed
Afraid I might escape
The trap I was caught in
Never knowing it was a snare
From whence free
No one would return
But no chain's too strong
To hold one forever
One day I did break the shackles
And did try to run
I was lagging far behind
Did try my level best
To pick up pace
And reach the mark
But years of immobility
Acting like a chain
Though not there
Still in a mesh was I
Trying to catch up
But running out of breath
Why did they do this to me
Why O why
Did you never let me breathe

Desire

Much talked about
Most sought after
Killed for, betrayed for
I’ve met you

You are nothing
You still fill my thoughts
But now I know your truth
You are not worth dying for

Not a single dream will be sacrificed
At the altar of your promises

All Alone

Lonely Once, Always!
Not lone, still all alone
In the midst of a crowd
Still no one 'round you
Teeming masses, city of millions
Going their own way, all!
We are lonely
We are scared
Can't people live their own lives
Guess it easier to live anothers
Problems tensions
On the pressure
The bubble is suffocating
I'm stressed
All you needed was a pin
To burst the bubble
And breathe

Lowly Roar

Shaken confidence
Hidden pains
Unfathomable emotions
Unreachable lanes
Lions roar
Oh so low
Made to cringe
Only hearts did sob

At the tunnel's end

Far in the distance
A ray of hope
Like a coward
Walking thro' a graveyard
What is it that gave him courage?
Is he really a wimp?
Faith is the answer
Knowledge is the strength
A beam of light
Visible, though a mile away
To reach the source
I did aim
Safe in the bosom
Of that which it precedes
There will the trembling stop
There feel secure
In your arms
O keep me safe
Keep me sound, I pray
Now, ever forever

Cogitations

Passing thoughts
Little forget me nots
Etched on paper
Come a cropper
Verse in colloquy
Mans soliloquy
Sapiens rant
Use of hands
'lusion of grandeur
Will all pander
Verbose the preacher
Fans all creatures
Hearts meaninglessness
Minds meaningfulness
Called a genius
Crime not heinous?
All ye fools Why he and not you rules?

The local

At last he's moving
Struggling hard
Almost falling
But still moving
Picking up pace
Still struggling

The long inactivity
Has taken its toll
Hey, but what's this
He has started running

Slow down you
You've miles to go
Yes, you've been left behind
You've to catch up
Then run my boy
Never fall again
Till you reach your goal

Love or Money

Love or Money
You can have one
Choose, says God

You see I'm practical
So my choice is very obvious
I'll have the money
Love never lasts

Even your money won't last
Then I'll live with my memories
You may say, love lasts longer,
The memories are better
But I prefer things tangible
The pleasure you buy, will
Always light you up
But love is bitter sweet
More bitter than sweet
Full of pain and agony
Only to realize it was
An ILLUSION
Like a dead fly in ointment
Causes even sweet myrrh to stink
Love turned to hate
Only makes one more miserable
Nothing good will ever
Come out of it

Airport

I stand here and watch life
Float by me
Teach me naught?

Meeting folks parting
Two of the fairer
From land across the beyond
Send smoke spiraling

The one with the little man
Not under control
Can’t seem to keep eyes off
The watcher watching turns voyeur

Two that are one
What is the story there?
The watcher yearns to know
Edges closer but still no clue

Friend turns up in black
Happy they are again
Then the much-awaited wave

Closer to the glass doors go
A final shake
Before the image again turns vision

Dogs-Roger Waters

Floyd lyrics dedicated to those who behave like dogs. That's what my friend said when he first forwarded me the lyrics. I had heard the album coupla times previously but had never actually paid attention to the lyrics. That happens quite often. Sometimes it's the music that you love sometimes the lyrics. But with floyd you tend to fall in love with both the music as well as the lyrics.

One reason why I love Floyd is their ability to put my thoughts into words, and what makes it even better is their own unique style of music that seems to pull some chords within you. When alone in your dark room Floyd has the ability to soothe rattled nerves.
Well you can read the lyrics below to get an idea about why I posted it here though it's available all over the Net.



You gotta be crazy, you gotta have a real need
You gotta sleep on your toes, and when you’re on the street
You gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight
You gotta strike when the moment is right without thinking.

And after a while, you can work on points for style
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake
A certain look in the eye, and an easy smile
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to
So that when they turn their backs on you
You’ll get the chance to put the knife in.

You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder
You know it’s going to get harder, and harder, and harder as you get older
And in the end you’ll pack, fly down south
Hide your head in the sand
Just another sad old man
All alone and dying of cancer.

And when you loose control, you’ll reap the harvest that you’ve sown
And as the fear grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone
And it’s too late to loose the weight you used to need to throw around
So have a good drown, as you go down alone
Dragged down by the stone.

I gotta admit that I’m a little bit confused
Sometimes it seems to me as if I’m just being used
Gotta stay awake, gotta try and shake of this creeping malaise
If I don’t stand my own ground, how can I find my way out of this maze?

Deaf, dumb, and blind, you just keep on pretending
That everyone’s expendable and no-one had a real friend
And it seems to you the thing to do would be to isolate the winner
And you believe at heart, everyone’s a killer.

Who was born in a house full of pain
Who was trained not to spit in the fan
Who was told what to do by the man
Who was broken by trained personnel
Who was fitted with collar and chain
Who was given a seat in the stand
Who was breaking away from the pack
Who was only a stranger at home
Who was ground down in the end
Who was found dead on the phone
Who was dragged down by the stone.

Why???

Now why am I beginning something, which am not sure of ever continuing. I had begun keeping a diary last year, but somewhere down the line it became a bi-monthly affair. But am proud of the fact that I did take it up again towards the end of the year. This year I decided to continue the habit. But the situation seems worse than last year.

Even blogging is nothing new. The service I had subscribed to earlier saw only a single post from me, and that a poem not written by me. Do I have a problem writing down thoughts??? Well, no. I don't think that is the problem. I remember filling pages after pages when I was in college and school days were even better.

And it's not that I have stopped thinking. Maybe, the thoughts are no longer original or maybe it's because I have realized a thousand others have already thought that much before I even was. Or maybe I just don't want others to read my opinion. Am I scared of something? I honestly don't know!! Or maybe am plain lazy! Well, I think it's a combination of all the factors mentioned above.

Now that I have admitted the problem to myself, I think I will make an effort to overcome the block. I have seen friends who started blogging undergo a dramatic change. Within a few months their writing style imrpoved for the better. Some of the posts I read came as a surprise cos I never knew they could write so well or think so deep. I think blogging does free up your writing style. This is the only place where you can write what you want to write without bothering about deadlines and punctuation and grammar and the quality of content.

And since I feel writing about business and technology has kind of circumscribed my style and my thinking it's about time to explore the possibilities of getting out of the rut. And so blogging...