Knowing what you want
Aware this is not it
Still the strings are pulled
And you plunge in head first
But barely swim you can
Thrashing around for survival
And by the powers surrounding you
Making it back to blessed land
Yet a mark has been left
An imprint of terror
The next time the guardian angel
Might not be around
Yet the urge to surf the waves
That thrill my being can't be denied

Undesired Wants

Feeling the feelings
you don't want to feel
But to feel once
And not to touch
More importantly - be touched
And the feeling ends
Relegated to the backyard barn
Full of so many, wanted undesired fleeting touches

Lives Redeemed?

I have undone so many lives
Freed them from the clutches of mediocrity
And left them floundering on the waves of disarray

Gave them a new life to live
And snatched from them dear stability

Oh cruel me
The great liberator
Do I need to be cursed?
Or offered a kiss, a reward?

Shooting My Senses

There are so many of you
The demons of Light
I pluck one out
Shoot the other to smithereens
Still they keep popping up
Now my senses are numbed
My hand moves slowly
Being drawn like a moth
The escape is the distance
And the sheer death below
Even where you were not to be
You persist
Blinding my senses, numbing my eyes

Hollow Pride

Simplicity suffers
In the absence of substance
The mind needs to be boggled
For the good feeling to sustain
Hollow pride in nothingness
Thrills a fleeting minute
Ere being swamped by gloom

Where is I?

Once upon a time
There lived Innocence
Till Life the sculptor
Used many a tool
Friends, enemies, strangers
And chipped away
To reveal Worldlywise.
I freed him, he said

But Innocence lives trapped
Life keeps him ensnared
If Innocence returns
Will not Worldlywise wan?
His failed creation.
Innocence after all shines bright
While Life’s creation is pockmarked
Scarred, ruined

Innocence is in the Lion’s cubs’ shoes
A cub captured by man and treated well
But the cub no more has a life.
The pack is scared.
They see a forgotten themselves,
He reminds them of a tragedy.
Innocence can’t survive
Stifle him, no kill.
Worldywise and his pack
They can’t live in a dream.

Maya

Achieving a sense of meaninglessness
Each triumph a loss
An aspiration fulfilled
And a dream shattered

What has left?
The fantasy that is satisfaction
The facade of hope
The emptiness of bookish promises

What is left?
Life to live

Infuse strength into desire
For short is long
Though sometimes vice versa

sentiments

That which you desire cannot be
Cos I cannot see you pained
yet you cannot escape

afflicted with anguish
holding on to useless hope
your life a ruin

maybe an escape
well made and in time
my reward though
your bitter heart

Light in the Night

Ash black ash
Life burnt

Look
all's not lost
A tiny green shoot
rising above the black

A beam of hope
at the far end of the dark tunnel
Muster your last strength
the very last bit
a prayer

Empress of Minds

I wish I could make you mine
But you see through me
It is not the truth
A facade you too know

I do want to cast you away
out of my heart
erased from my mind

But a part of me will die
If it be deprived of thy thought
No longer can I look forward to seeing you
conversing with you
but the memory of you still makes me smile

I Yield

Make me run within the ring
There is no way out
accept the matrix
swallow your pride and give in to the lie
you are in control u need to believe

but pride they say
goeth before a fall
and till such time
i will continue the fight

accepting is suffocating
so I cannot live
But to die is suicide
And only the fight can keep me alive
Batterered broken
Hope doesn't exist
But that is one falsity i will hold on to
with dear life

Something Hidden

He with his calm exterior
Pleases the one with the fire

But hand hits thigh
Composure is lost
Just for a fleeting moment

The ire bridled
Can but no longer be hidden

The strain holds the nerves taut
The grinding teeth
Furrowed brow
Need to relax

Break free
Let go those words
Before the bitterness bursts within
And the bolt that holds you tight
Is lost

Dark Prevails

On the sweeping roads
Chasing a darker me
Cutting through
Evil looks stronger
Hyde seems to win

A red light
And I catch up

Neck to neck we race
Light and dark and on and on
The good lacks control
Black wins the day

A Nobody

The guitars rolled
The drums boomed
A head nodded
A need to belong
Be part of the bigger whole

What did you’ve to prove
Why??
The vacuum can’t be filled
You don’t have a friend

Worthless has been your life
Insecurity will be your companion

Get out now
Smell reality
And you can die with dignity

A glimpse of life

A glimpse of life
Through the window
Each hole in the air
Your circumscribed view
A sense of déjà vu

You want to stand and stare
There is learning there
Your inner demons could find rest
Or oscillate the elements

But speed and barred peepholes
Never let you remain
Experience the peace
You will never know

Disruption

Why is rhythm not mine
Sounds that don’t rhyme
Limbs in rebellion
A call for more time
Oh! It’s so simple

An eluding shadow
Please throw some light
Has lost the touch
Will have to end

Speck of Dust

Can one drop of poison
In the vast ocean
A difference make

Can one cube of sugar
Sweeten the bitter lake

Then what chance do I
A mere speck of dust
In this world create

Cliche

Love
Such a cliché
Clichés all hate
Then why has this one
The oldest and worst of em all
Survived

Too much to ask

Is it too much to ask
My own life to live
All I want is freedom
From age old ideas

But that is all
This what I value the most
Don’t deny it God

Past Ghosts

Those Ghosts
from the Past
Slowly enveloping me
Smothering me in its bosom
Suffocating me.

How do I exorcise them!
smoke em out
drown in Madira

What had to be destroyed only grows stronger
But those valued has been taken away forever

The ghosts are breeding
clouding my mind
There is no escape
Please lemme live

There is only this once
It's my life
Why can't I have it